"Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" Romans 2:4 We each have a story we hide,
A sin that we shove to the side. But honesty battles our pride. Reminders can act as our guide. For if all our sins we decline, And hide in the back of our mind, We’re tempted to think that we’re fine, When actually we’ve become blind. It hurts to remember our sin, Mistakes that resulted in strife, But I will not let my pride win, So here’s how I ruined my life. (This story is really of me, For these things I really did do, But I'll replace “I” with a “she,” For in Christ I have become new.) Stubborn and brimming with pride, Each compliment went to her head. And near-sighted—practically blind, By Satan’s sweet words she was led, Her reputation was of gold, For all those who knew her had said: “She’s kind and she’s so self-controlled. She’s honest and very well-read.” So she met some people one year, With whom all her time she would spend, And quickly it would become clear, That one would be more than a friend. This boy wasn’t all that she dreamed, But surely he was close enough. Together the two of them gleamed, Eventually falling in love. So things were quite well for some time, But they knew that she’d have to leave. So while they were still in their prime, She left him for months overseas. Longer than they’d been a pair, Was how long they would be apart. The situation seemed unfair, But neither of them changed their hearts. So four months passed by very slow But neither of them fell away. In fact, in this time they would grow, And during this time God would say, “For you two to ever work out, I should be first in your hearts. If from me your love does not sprout, This pairing will soon fall apart.” Blinded by her stubborn heart, She honestly tried to seek God, But Satan would quickly take part, And make every step a facade. No matter how often she read, Satan in her placed this doubt: "'Be perfect,' is what God had said, To be good is what it’s about." But it was too hard to be good, She couldn’t stop sinning inside. Her boyfriend had seemed like he could, But in time she no longer tried. And once more she went overseas, But this time would not be the same, For he was with God and at ease, While Satan on her had his claim. So Satan for her set a trap: A man that she had met abroad. So easy and quickly she’d snap, For she was too damaged and flawed. Though God offered her a way out, She gave in and cheated right there. Her hardened heart silenced God’s shout, And for some time she couldn't care. As she'd from that country depart, The storm of emotions then hit. Her life soon exploded apart, When she finally saw what she did. She still had a few weeks to hide, Before she would see him again, But shame tortured her from inside-- She dreaded admitting her sin. So she agonized what to say, And feared for what he would then do. She wanted their love to be saved, But inside she already knew. She desperately cried out to God, For strength so she wouldn’t give in To hiding behind a facade. God helped her despite her great sin. So when she at last did admit, He angrily left and withdrew. Reality started to hit, And her heart had broken in two. On that day their pairing did end, Her sin was too great to forgive. She lost her true love and best friend. She no longer wanted to live. Entirely empty inside, She didn’t know what she would do. A part of her already died. His love for her was all she knew. Inside in her heart she had planned, Her life here she would leave behind, But God took this sinful girl’s hand, And kindly He then changed her mind. He said to her, “Listen, My child, I know the extent of your sin. Your body and love you defiled, But I will not let Satan win. Nothing you’ve done can erase, My love and My Son whom I gave, To suffer and die in your place, Triumphantly beating the grave. Repent of your sins, but keep living! I'll give you a brand new beginning! For better I am at forgiving, Than you ever have been at sinning.” She heard this and fell to her knees. Could such a love really exist? And how could this possibly be? How great is His love that persists! She repented and gave all she had, Her plans and her thoughts, words, and deeds. She gave up her life to her Dad, Who perfectly loves her and leads. Friends, this is where I was found, When I reached the end of my rope, Where pain and depression abound, Having destroyed all my hope. But God is too good to let go. To each of His children He’ll call, “Your sins and your failures I know, But I’ll pick you up when you fall." So let my life be praise to Him, Who saved me from my own self-harm. I’m better than I’ve ever been, For safely I rest in His arms. I pray this I always remember: I died the 16th of September. Now His love’s the air that I breathe, In Him I will always believe.
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AuthorFighting complacency and advocating change in myself for the world around me. Posts by Date
February 2019
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