“God cares more about our response to His Spirit’s leading today, in this moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today’s decisions...My hope is that instead of searching for ‘God’s will for my life,’ each of us would learn to seek hard after, ’the Spirit’s leading in my life today.'” - Francis Chan, Forgotten God "What does the Spirit want me to do today?” I asked myself. I put the book down. It was around 7:30 am, and I had been awake for 2 and a half hours. A sudden drowsiness had been overtaking me slowly as I read. My vision started to blur. I reread the same page over and over until… “Perhaps the Spirit wants me to sleep…” I thought. He didn’t. I asked for the sign of sleep paralysis to know for sure. He provided. I continued to fight a losing battle with sleep, and it really did feel like a battle. I had woken up this morning feeling pretty awake. I had showered, gotten dressed, my day had well started. Although I sought to spend my morning with God, my spirit was willing but my body was weak. This happened on Friday as well. And it tends to happen to me each Sunday. Perhaps there is a demon waiting for me every time I sit on that couch to read. Nevertheless, after countless instances of sleep paralysis mixed with countless realizations that I actually hadn’t gotten up yet like my dreams had convinced me I did, I jumped up from the couch around 9am. One and a half hours wasted. Each time this happens I pray for God’s help, some times more earnestly than others. There are mornings when I pray because I really want to stay awake for this time with Him, and He provides, and other mornings when I pray because sleep is going to overtake me and I make a last-ditch effort to escape, failing because I had let sleep get so close already. So to answer my first question, I think the Spirit wants me to listen closer and fight harder. I knew it wasn’t God’s intention for me to fall asleep in the middle of the time I had set aside for Him. I also knew that after the first instance of sleep paralysis I was given the answer I needed to get up from that couch and go for a walk and fight drowsiness like I have done before. But I didn’t listen and I barely fought at all. "Most of us use “I’m waiting for God to reveal His calling on my life” as a means of avoiding action. Did you hear God calling you to sit in front of the television yesterday? Or to go on your last vacation? Or exercise this morning? Probably not, but you still did it. The point isn’t that vacations or exercise are wrong, but that we are quick to rationalize our entertainment and priorities yet are slow to commit to serving God.” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love I am guilty of using “finding God’s will for my life” as an excuse for inaction in the present. I have heard the Spirit on many occasions leading me to do small and mundane things. Sometimes I will obey, but when I don’t, my excuse has something to do with the “necessity" for me to figure out God’s will for my life overall first. For example, I went on a walk yesterday and passed by a man with a shopping cart. The Spirit told me to talk to him. I said, “Good morning," and passed him by. The Spirit told me to go back, maybe offer to push his cart. I said, “I already said good morning,” and kept walking. The Spirit would not let this leave my heart for the remainder of my walk until I shoved the thought down with every effort in me. Where was that fight when my opponent was drowsiness? “And to expose our hearts to truth and consistently refuse or neglect to obey the impulses it arouses is to stymie the motions of life within us and, if persisted in, to grieve the Holy Spirit into silence.” - A.W. Tozer The truth is, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want to talk to that guy. I didn’t know what I would say and I thought it would just be an awkward, forced conversation. But so what if it was? So what if we are led into countless awkward, seemingly pointless conversations? If the Spirit tells us to do something, we should do it, having confidence in knowing that He need only lead and we need only follow. Do not grieve the Spirit into silence because you do not understand His motives. “All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you…When he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.” Follow that small, quiet voice today. Do not grieve the Spirit into silence today or else you will be tempted to do the same tomorrow, and on until death. You will wonder, “Why did God never reveal His will to me?” and He will say, “I did, but you did not listen.” Listen today, follow today, lest the Spirit be grieved into silence for the entirety of your life.
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AuthorFighting complacency and advocating change in myself for the world around me. Posts by Date
February 2019
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