What is the Gospel? Beyond being the name of the four books of the Bible in which Jesus’ story is told, the Gospel message is this: God loves us. There is nothing we can do to make him love us more, and nothing we have done that makes him love us less. In fact, he loved us so much, that in order to bridge the gap that our sin made between us and him, he sent his very own Son to suffer and die in our place. Now we can come confidently into his presence, knowing that Jesus is the reason we are called righteous—not because of anything we’ve done ourselves. And now, we live our lives in response to experiencing that love. When you love someone, you’ll do anything for them. And when they ask you to do something for them, you’re probably already doing it because you want to do what is best for them. The same goes with God. We don’t follow his laws or read the Bible because of some bothersome obligation. We do it because we love him, and we learn to love him when we truly experience his love for us. Then, when we experience this love and respond to it, we want nothing more than to bring others into it. Rather than looking at our non-believing friends as hopeless sinners and condemning them in our hearts with judgment for their sin, we look at our non-believing friends with love—wanting only the best for them, which happens to be an experience of God’s love. Here is the problem I see today: too many Christians who don’t act in response to God’s love and who are quick to judge sinners. This is what I like to define as legalism. This is not love. “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 It doesn’t matter how “good” of a Christian you are. It doesn’t matter how well you follow all the rules, and use all the spiritual gifts. Anything done apart from love is essentially worthless. If you do not display the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) and your heart is instead inclined to judgment, pride, arrogance, self-righteousness—then you might be on the road to legalism. Always remind yourself of God’s love. We must preach this Gospel to ourselves daily, lest we give ourselves credit for our righteousness and forget that we don’t deserve to be welcomed into God’s kingdom—Jesus is the only reason we’ve been accepted. The answer to any sinful heart is a true experience of this love. Did condemnation ever bring you closer to God? God himself does not even want to condemn, he only does it because he has to when people refuse to turn to him. Love is always the answer. Nothing will bring us truly into closeness with God but love. "Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” Romans 2:4 God’s kindness is what leads us to repentance—not his condemnation. His kindness and love is the only thing that is going to bring our hearts into the right place. Without this love, we will judge others harshly and never feel good enough ourselves. We will point our fingers at others’ sinful lives because we believe they are wrong. Though we are right, in this judgment we completely forget the point of what we believe in: “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17 How can we save people if all we ever do is point out their flaws without leading them towards the hope of a Savior? Of course there is a place to convict—especially when sinners do not understand that they are sinning. But most sinners are aware of their wrong actions. They don’t need another judge. One Judge is enough. They need God’s love. So, a word of advice. If described above is you—if you follow God’s commands and point out the sins in others but have not experienced God’s love for yourself—worry not! There is always hope. What you need is a true experience of God’s love, and this love God freely gives when we ask. So ask. Pray to God for an experience of this love, that you may live in response to it. When you do not immediately receive it, ask again. And again. Never stop asking. God will answer. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
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“Tell the people: ‘Consecrate yourselves in preparation for tomorrow, when you will eat meat. The Lord heard you when you wailed, “If only we had meat to eat! We were better off in Egypt!” Now the Lord will give you meat, and you will eat it. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils and you loathe it—because you have rejected the Lord, who is among you, and have wailed before him, saying, “Why did we ever leave Egypt?”’” The Israelites were constantly underestimating the power of God. Even Moses, who had seen God on Mount Sinai and talked with God face to face, thought, “There’s no way God could possibly provide that much meat for this many people for a whole 30 days.” Isn’t that such an insane thing to think, though? How could it be too much for the Creator of the Universe, who is all-powerful and set billions upon billions of galaxies and their intricate details in motion, to provide meat for 600,000-ish men (not including women)? God created more than 350,000,000,000 galaxies (which is still a controversial estimate according to Francis Chan in his book, Crazy Love). Look at how many more zeros are in the number of galaxies than the number of those men. That’s roughly 583,000 galaxies per Israelite male. Which is easier to sustain? One small, tiny human or about 583,000 galaxies? So I’ll ask you, reader: what has God promised you in your life that you underestimate He can provide? I was recently talking with a friend who is struggling financially. She couldn’t register for classes because there was a hold on her account from an amount too high for her to pay. She prayed about it, and God provided. The amount was almost instantly pushed to next semester so she could register. God worked an amazing miracle in her life. But then she went on to say, “I still struggle with anxiety over my finances though. He can provide miracles like that, but He can’t make my stress go away completely.” I didn’t consider it until later, but in that moment she sounded a lot like Moses—not questioning God’s ability to provide, but questioning His ability to provide abundantly. Sure, it would’ve been easy for God to provide meat for the Israelites, but He promised so much meat that they would be sick of it—not just for one day, but for a whole month. That’s when Moses began to question Him. Similarly, it’s easy for God to provide a financial miracle for my friend here and there, every once in awhile, but He promises so much more than that. Is the Lord’s arm too short to make her stress go away completely? She’s still going to have to pay her finances of course, but why worry? “Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.” - Francis Chan, Crazy Love “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 God promises peace that transcends understanding. I myself have experienced this. I’ve struggled a lot with loneliness the past few months after losing my boyfriend and the close friendships that encircled him. Oftentimes I am brought to tears upon the realization that I don’t have close friends around me to whom I can confide in during the moments I need them most. But I have God. And countless times, in the midst of my tears, He has grabbed hold of me and said, “You have all you need in Me.” Is His arm too short to provide me more than the comfort of a close friend in person? Of course not! There is no greater love than His. “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Numbers 23:19 Cling to the promises of God—promises to never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 28:20, Isaiah 41:10, Deuteronomy 31:6,8) and to give you His peace (John 14:27, Philippians 4:6-7). Promises to provide all that you need as He clothes the flowers and feeds the birds (Matthew 6:25-34) and to heal the brokenhearted (Psalm 147:3). God will fulfill His promises.
The Lord said to Moses: “Give Aaron and his sons this command: ‘These are the regulations for the burnt offering: The burnt offering is to remain on the altar hearth throughout the night, till morning, and the fire must be kept burning on the altar. The priest shall then put on his linen clothes, with linen undergarments next to his body, and shall remove the ashes of the burnt offering that the fire has consumed on the altar and place them beside the altar. Then he is to take off these clothes and put on others, and carry the ashes outside the camp to a place that is ceremonially clean. The fire on the altar must be kept burning; it must not go out. Every morning the priest is to add firewood and arrange the burnt offering on the fire and burn the fat of the fellowship offerings on it. The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out." Leviticus 6:8-13 The above passage probably seems pretty unrelated to today. We don’t offer burnt offerings anymore—Jesus provided the ultimate atonement so we no longer have to. However, I was always taught that when a teacher repeats something more than once, take note. Here, the Lord three times repeats, “The fire on the altar must be keep burning,” or the like. This immediately caught my attention, so I dug a little deeper. In the Old Testament, phrases were repeated three times as a common way to provide emphasis (Jeremiah 22:29, Ezekiel 21:27, Isaiah 6:3). Professor William D. Barrick refers to this as an "emphatic Semitic triplet.” I didn’t look much farther than this because I got the point: something repeated three times is to be emphasized. So what was repeated three times? That the fire must be kept burning on the altar. What do we know about the altar? Well, we know that the altar is in the tabernacle which is where God’s presence dwelled among the people of Israel as they journeyed to the promised land. So it is vital that the fire where God’s presence was located be kept burning. But where is that tabernacle today? Where is God’s presence found today? Well, according to Paul, we are the temples. God’s presence is found within us. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.” 1 Corinthians 6:19 Priests had to continuously keep the fire on the altar burning. They couldn’t just forget about it and go about their day. Keeping that fire burning was constantly on the forefront of their mind. When it got low, they immediately noticed and added firewood. They never let the fire die. Similarly, we need to put this same effort into being attentive to God’s fire within us. Do you ever forget to be slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to listen? Or to not be wise in your own eyes? Or to love others before yourself and count them as more significant than you? I know I do. I’m not perfect. And we never will be perfect. Truthfully, we’ll never be able to successfully meditate on God every moment, take every thought captive and make it obedient to Him, love God with all our heart, soul, strength, fear God and shun evil, etc. Nevertheless, that does not mean that we should not remain attentive to that fire within us. Add firewood each time it gets low. Meditate on the Word, pray without ceasing, take your thoughts captive, fight the good fight of faith. If the fire dies, spark it back up. Keep that passion and that first love for God burning; it must not go out. “I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.” Revelation 2:2-4 It’s not just about what we do on the outside. God wants our hearts. That passion and excitement and feeling of overwhelming love we received when we first knew, really knew God—that is the fire that must be kept burning. That is the fire that must never go out. Pray that this relationship with God and pursuit of Him through prayer and reading the Bible never becomes routine for you, reader. Pray that you never obey just out of obligation or guilt. Keep the fire burning. Do not forsake the love you had at first.
“David asked the soldiers standing nearby, 'What will a man get for killing this Philistine and ending his defiance of Israel? Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy the armies of the living God?'” 1 Samuel 17:26 The story of David and Goliath is an epic narrative of the power of faith, love, and fear of the Lord. What I find most remarkable about this story was David’s motivation for battling Goliath. He didn’t do it for his glory as his brothers may have accused him, and he surely didn’t do it mainly for the reward (perhaps there was a little motivation there too). He did it because he was offended that someone was defying the armies of the living God. In other words, he was angry that someone he loved was being cursed. You’ve probably felt this way. You’ve definitely felt this way if you’ve ever loved someone who has been hurt. For parents, it’s a guarantee they’ll be the first to get angry when someone curses their children. Even for friends the bond is strong enough to feel this same way. You will likely not think twice before hurting (or being angry at) anyone who tries to hurt someone you love. Now, of course, this isn’t exactly a biblical response. We are supposed to love our enemies and forgive them, especially since our enemies are also flawed human beings who probably also love people enough to hurt anyone who hurts them. But at the same time, you would never say to someone who just cursed your loved one, “It’s okay. I forgive you. Keep talking.” Should we forgive the unjust? Of course. Should we tolerate injustice? No. “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” Isaiah 1:17 And many people are well aware of this. Few will tolerate hateful speech, crime, mass shootings, the oppression of the poor, fatherless, or widows. But what about when it comes to God? How much injustice/defiance are we tolerating of the living God? I have been in a lot of pain recently watching the media and people around me misuse the name of God and throw it around without reverence. How many times have you heard, “Oh my [sometimes the f-word is placed here] God,” or “Jesus Christ!” or “God is a woman,” or “I swear to God,” used casually or angrily? Even when they’re not actually referring to God Himself? As a kid I was always told never to say, “Oh my God,” in anger because it is offensive to God. My response was always, “Why would He care? If He knows I’m not actually meaning to offend Him, is He really offended?” And honestly, maybe not. All I know for sure on this topic is that we are commanded not to misuse His name. I can’t tell you if He’s actually offended because I am not Him. Even so, I’m offended—like David was and like you would be for any of your loved ones. And your loved ones aren’t even Holy and All-Powerful and All-Knowing and Almighty and Awesome and Worthy of all praise. Who are we, mere human beings, created by the One whose character we don’t even consider when we say these things, to throw His Holy name around as if it means nothing? To use it as a meaningless term in a phrase that doesn't even refer to the Creator Himself? Maybe I’m overreacting, but when I consider how I have been feeling about all this, David’s quote from 1 Samuel comes to mind. Who are these people to defy the living God by using His name without reverence? Perhaps it is because they do not know Him. Many strangers will improperly treat people they do not know. That doesn’t make it any less wrong to not give proper respect as it is owed. Perhaps it is because not enough have spoken up that this misuse has become normalized. “The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.” Exodus 34:6-7 Now, God is slow to anger and abounding in love. He said so Himself to Moses. He forgives wickedness, rebellion and sin. But to forgive requires repentance. “But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.” Romans 2:5 I don’t think it’s a requirement for Christians to feel this way—offended when someone misuses the name of the Lord. And maybe saying things like “Oh my God” is not an actual misuse of the Lord’s name and I’m just over-defining it. Still, I think that if we really deeply know and love God and understand His Holiness, we could never tolerate any defiance of the living God.
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death…But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.” Psalm 13:1-3, 5-6 In my last post I talked about a time I went through of feeling perceived distance and estrangement from God, doubting what He has done for me. It seems this period of distance and estrangement has continued as, even after baptism and the emotion tied to it, I still feel like I’m missing something. I do not seek to discourage, but only to write what I feel necessary to address. I have written about difficult times in my faith before, and God has always shown up. It seems, however, that the current period has lasted much longer than I would like. Last night I was weighed down with frustration in feeling this estrangement from God. I opened up the Psalms to find a prayer that expressed my cry to God and almost immediately found Psalm 13, which is word for word my prayer. That was no coincidence. It is proof that God hears me. So I wrote a song about it. “‘Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again? Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?' Then I thought, ‘To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand. I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on your mighty deeds.’ Your ways, God, are holy. What god is as great as our God?” Psalm 77:7-13 I speak somewhat often of my fear of repeating my spiritual mistakes from last year. Long story short, I had a shallow relationship with God. I read and reflected on the Bible daily, but never applied it to my life and rarely if ever spoke to God in prayer. I became very judgmental and quickly gave up on God, which led to my mistakes over the summer. There is a stark difference between this year and last year, however, and in this difference I find confidence: my faith is no longer one of many options—it is the air I breathe. What I mean by that is this: last year, I had just come back from experiencing a beautiful encounter with God in Australia. It was wonderful to feel Him so closely, much more wonderful than life without that closeness, so I chose to pursue faith. When that closeness did not repeat itself, I gave up. I had lived just fine without that closeness before, right? I was only in it for my benefit. This year, I am once again distraught in the lack of closeness I have felt recently. But this year, I have no other options to turn to. God is sustaining me, completely. Though I feel not His immediate presence, I am well aware that I would crumble under the weight of my sins if He was not holding my burden even now as I feel distant. Sometimes it is difficult to breathe. Perhaps we are sick and our nose is stuffed up, or maybe we (like myself) have asthma. Does this mean we can, in our frustration, just give up and stop breathing? That would be absolutely absurd. So, continuing with the above analogy, my nose is stuffed up. I have not been able to breathe as smoothly as I once did. But I am confident in this: God has been faithful. His love is unfailing. His promises endure forever, and I have hard evidence of how He has shown up miraculously in my past. Though this spiritual “sickness” in the form of perceived distance and estrangement may last for a while, He will not hide His face from me forever. So I will patiently wait. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14 I was baptized today. Here is a recollection of my baptism and the major events before and after it. Tuesday, November 13, 2018 I met with Pastor Dale to share my testimony. He explained the baptism purpose and process. He told me baptism is the most exciting thing he can do as a pastor. It puts a huge smile on God’s face, and there is rejoicing in heaven. Then he told me to come up with something short to say as to why I’d like to be baptized. Wednesday, November 14, 2018 Upon waking up at 5:30am, the following words came into my head. I recorded them in my phone at 5:34am: “Why do I want to get baptized? As a testimony to myself that I’m no longer living in sin. As a testimony to others that I have a new life in Christ. As a testimony to God that He gets to make the decisions now, That I’ll spend the rest of my life giving all the glory to Him.” I didn’t consider anything else to say instead. It was obvious those words came to me for a reason. I didn’t look at them very closely beforehand so they came out a bit different during the service, but the main points remained. Before December 2, 2018 Since giving my life to Christ on September 16, I had not experienced so much perceived distance and estrangement from God as I did in the weeks leading up to my baptism. I doubted that He had ever shown me His love, I had forgotten how He revealed to me His presence, and at one point I almost gave up on faith completely out of fear for repeating my past. But God is good, and He wasn’t about to let me go. He reminded me of His love for me and how He displayed it, and He helped me not to be so hard on myself. Sunday, December 2, 2018 Before I was nervous, but I had a good morning with the Lord. The service went well. When asked why we wanted to get baptized, I said the following: “I want it to be a testimony to myself that I’m no longer a slave to sin, a testimony to others that I have a new life in Christ, and in obedience to God who gets to make all the decisions now.” Pastor Dale asked if he could put me on the spot. I complied. He then asked me to shortly explain how I came to Jesus and what happened leading up to this decision. I responded: “I was in a lot of sin over summer and I hurt someone that I loved very much and that put me in a very dark place, but God found me in that darkness.” During I stepped in the pool. It was cold, and strange to get my clothes soaked, but I was no longer nervous. Pastor Dale had me state my full name, and he baptized me in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I was dunked backwards. When I came up, I felt different. I was shaking, though not visibly, but inside I was shaking immensely. I was overwhelmed with emotion that I could not and did not portray (I knew this because how I looked on video did not accurately represent how I felt). I was in shock, in awe. It felt like minutes that I trembled in the pool, but it was only seconds. My hand wouldn’t leave my heart. When I finally got out and was embraced by my mom with a towel, I cried. Not much, but I cried. Overwhelmed with emotion is the closest description I have for how I felt--overwhelmed to the point of being unable to display it outwardly. I am in awe that I am forgiven and saved. After what I had done, I was sure it was the end for me. I was sure I was done for. I had figured God was proud of me up until my most horrible sin, but I believe now God has never smiled bigger at my life than in that moment, and neither had I. I feel joy, pure joy. I am confident I have God’s Advocate with me now. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. After I got some congratulations from people in the congregation—some I knew, some I didn’t. My roommate made a surprised remark about Pastor Dale putting me on the spot, but a stranger told me that my testimony was powerful. When I was confirmed in the Lutheran Church as a middle-schooler we were asked to choose our favorite verse in the Bible. I hadn’t read much of the Bible at that point, but I knew without a doubt the second I read it that my favorite verse was Genesis 50:20. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20 Except rather than telling this to my brothers who sold me into slavery like Joseph did, my version is said to Satan himself: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what has now been done, the saving of my life.” I never understood why I always loved that verse so much. Now I finally get it. I messed up when I fell so far into sin I thought I’d never get back up, but God used that to finally get it through my thick skull that He is all I need. “Anything that causes me to find God is a huge blessing, no matter how painful it was at the time.” - Francis Chan “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’ But he will answer, “Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.” Revelation 3:2-3 So why “A Sense of Urgency”? It was the first title that came to mind when I created this website. Why is it so important to me? Urgency has two main definitions: (1) something important which requires swift action, and (2) an earnest and persistent quality; insistence. Both apply. In the months leading up to the creation of this website, I had been spending a lot of time reading the Bible. Jesus, Paul, Peter—they say some alarming things in there, especially pertaining to hell. Then I started reading Erasing Hell by Francis Chan. “We have become dangerously comfortable—believers ooze with wealth and let their addictions to comfort and security numb the radical urgency of the gospel.” “Are you sure you’re on the right side? What evidence do you have that you know Jesus? Please understand my heart. I believe I am asking these questions for the same reason that Jesus gives the warning. It’s the most loving thing I can do! ‘Many’ will go to hell even though they thought they’d waltz into paradise. Jesus will say, ‘I never knew you; “Could it be that [Paul’s] drive to reach the lost was directly related to his willingness to ponder their fate if he didn’t reach them at all?…While much of our church culture believes that talk of wrath and judgment is toxic and unloving, Paul didn’t seem to have a problem with these things. In fact, Paul believed that these were essential truths…[There is] an ongoing state of punishment for all who don’t love Jesus.” - Francis Chan, Erasing Hell This was what I had finished reading when I put the book down and wrote my first post. I “woke up.” I was overwhelmed with anxiety, sick to my stomach, distraught, I felt like throwing up. Why? Because for the first time in my life, I deeply pondered the fate of the unbelievers in my life, and even more—the fate I would have had if I had died prior to giving my life to Christ—only months ago. Reader, the gospel is something radically important which requires swift action. The gospel is radically urgent. Do you know Jesus? Are you confident He will not shut the door and say to you, “I don’t know you or where you come from”? Have you listened to Him and read His Word? Even more, once you have become confident of your own salvation through God’s grace and mercy, how does this urgency change how you interact with those around you? I can’t stop talking about God. Sometimes I take it a little too far and I am too harsh. I’m a flawed human being, so my approach might not always be perfect, but all I know is this: I understand where I was headed, and I am eternally grateful to the One who redirected my path, so I have to share Him with others. So a sense of urgency is important in that the gospel is itself a message that requires swift action. Add to that, we as believers should be urgently getting to know God ourselves. Earnestly, we persist in the disciplines of prayer, reading the Bible, self-reflection, etc. Anything we can get our hands on to bring us closer to Him. How often do you eat? How often are you hungry? How often do you drink? How often are you thirsty? How much more should you seek the Bread of Life and Living Water! Perhaps this post doesn’t flow as smoothly as my others. I didn’t think it would. This topic makes me anxious. I can’t seem to think straight or write well. But this topic is what drives my faith—my sense of urgency. God exists and He is clear and He speaks and He lives and He is here. Do we know Him? Are we getting to know Him? Do we spend some time with Him on Sundays and shove Him to the side for the rest of our week? Or is He the air that we breathe? “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21 "Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?" Romans 2:4 We each have a story we hide,
A sin that we shove to the side. But honesty battles our pride. Reminders can act as our guide. For if all our sins we decline, And hide in the back of our mind, We’re tempted to think that we’re fine, When actually we’ve become blind. It hurts to remember our sin, Mistakes that resulted in strife, But I will not let my pride win, So here’s how I ruined my life. (This story is really of me, For these things I really did do, But I'll replace “I” with a “she,” For in Christ I have become new.) Stubborn and brimming with pride, Each compliment went to her head. And near-sighted—practically blind, By Satan’s sweet words she was led, Her reputation was of gold, For all those who knew her had said: “She’s kind and she’s so self-controlled. She’s honest and very well-read.” So she met some people one year, With whom all her time she would spend, And quickly it would become clear, That one would be more than a friend. This boy wasn’t all that she dreamed, But surely he was close enough. Together the two of them gleamed, Eventually falling in love. So things were quite well for some time, But they knew that she’d have to leave. So while they were still in their prime, She left him for months overseas. Longer than they’d been a pair, Was how long they would be apart. The situation seemed unfair, But neither of them changed their hearts. So four months passed by very slow But neither of them fell away. In fact, in this time they would grow, And during this time God would say, “For you two to ever work out, I should be first in your hearts. If from me your love does not sprout, This pairing will soon fall apart.” Blinded by her stubborn heart, She honestly tried to seek God, But Satan would quickly take part, And make every step a facade. No matter how often she read, Satan in her placed this doubt: "'Be perfect,' is what God had said, To be good is what it’s about." But it was too hard to be good, She couldn’t stop sinning inside. Her boyfriend had seemed like he could, But in time she no longer tried. And once more she went overseas, But this time would not be the same, For he was with God and at ease, While Satan on her had his claim. So Satan for her set a trap: A man that she had met abroad. So easy and quickly she’d snap, For she was too damaged and flawed. Though God offered her a way out, She gave in and cheated right there. Her hardened heart silenced God’s shout, And for some time she couldn't care. As she'd from that country depart, The storm of emotions then hit. Her life soon exploded apart, When she finally saw what she did. She still had a few weeks to hide, Before she would see him again, But shame tortured her from inside-- She dreaded admitting her sin. So she agonized what to say, And feared for what he would then do. She wanted their love to be saved, But inside she already knew. She desperately cried out to God, For strength so she wouldn’t give in To hiding behind a facade. God helped her despite her great sin. So when she at last did admit, He angrily left and withdrew. Reality started to hit, And her heart had broken in two. On that day their pairing did end, Her sin was too great to forgive. She lost her true love and best friend. She no longer wanted to live. Entirely empty inside, She didn’t know what she would do. A part of her already died. His love for her was all she knew. Inside in her heart she had planned, Her life here she would leave behind, But God took this sinful girl’s hand, And kindly He then changed her mind. He said to her, “Listen, My child, I know the extent of your sin. Your body and love you defiled, But I will not let Satan win. Nothing you’ve done can erase, My love and My Son whom I gave, To suffer and die in your place, Triumphantly beating the grave. Repent of your sins, but keep living! I'll give you a brand new beginning! For better I am at forgiving, Than you ever have been at sinning.” She heard this and fell to her knees. Could such a love really exist? And how could this possibly be? How great is His love that persists! She repented and gave all she had, Her plans and her thoughts, words, and deeds. She gave up her life to her Dad, Who perfectly loves her and leads. Friends, this is where I was found, When I reached the end of my rope, Where pain and depression abound, Having destroyed all my hope. But God is too good to let go. To each of His children He’ll call, “Your sins and your failures I know, But I’ll pick you up when you fall." So let my life be praise to Him, Who saved me from my own self-harm. I’m better than I’ve ever been, For safely I rest in His arms. I pray this I always remember: I died the 16th of September. Now His love’s the air that I breathe, In Him I will always believe. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 What were you thinking about before you started reading this post? Perhaps you are preoccupied with some worrisome anxiety, or maybe you are rather content with how you feel today, or you could be thinking about that argument you had the other day. Whatever it is you are thinking, most likely you are running on autopilot. I’m going to guess you are not deeply concentrating on each thought that pops in your head, but that you are instead allowing each thought to flow in and out of your mind, like watching leaves float down a river. Some leaves pass by slowly, others speed by, still others get stuck on a branch of sorts and remain in sight for much longer than necessary, and others are dead. Do you stop to pull out the dead leaves? “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’" Matthew 22:36-37 Have you ever thought about what it means to love the Lord your God with all your mind? Heart is easy—to love God as He loves us. Soul is also easy—to submit ourselves to God as living sacrifices. But what about your mind? How can you love with your mind? “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 1 Corinthians 10:5b Your thought-space is important to God. In fact, your thought-space is often a defining factor of the love that is in your heart. If all you think about is money — worrying about if you have enough, wishing you had more, etc. — do you love God or do you love money? I’ll give a clearer example. If you are married, but you constantly think romantic thoughts about a person who is not your spouse, do you really love your spouse? Perhaps these thoughts really are just thoughts, and they would never turn into action, but just because the sin stays in your head doesn’t make it any less of a sin. Be careful, Reader. Many people will try to tell you that sin is in your words and actions alone. It is so much easier to say and do the right thing than it is to think the right thing. But here’s a simple truth: Battling sin is never going to be easy. Perhaps you, in your mind, have been slandering a friend of yours with all the utmost hate and detest, but to his face you are kind. Have you sinned? Or say, rather, that you speak and act quite righteously, and in your head you are well aware of this. You think yourself to be a good person. You believe you have earned your own salvation. You look down on those who cannot be as moral as you. Have you sinned? Or perhaps you, in your mind, have had many sexual relationships with many different people, but outwardly you are abstinent. Have you sinned? “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24 Here is a truth we need to accept: we are all sinners. I am not here to pat you on the back and say, “So long as you speak and act righteously, you’re saved.” That’s not biblical. Jesus's sacrifice is the only reason you can stand before God, who is aware of all your sins, and still be saved. It is a harsh reality to look at ourselves in the mirror and realize we are not good people, but it is absolutely necessary. Whether or not you have fooled your friends to think you are a good person because you speak and act righteously, you can never fool God. And in the end, God's opinion of you is the only one that matters. "Do I think well of myself, think myself a nice chap? Well, I am afraid I sometimes do (and those are, no doubt, my worst moments).” - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity But I digress. Be careful what you think, reader, for your thoughts are just as precious to God as are your words and deeds. Just as you should test your words and deeds against the Scriptures and examine where they do not line up, so should you do with your thoughts. Don’t just run on autopilot all the time. To run on autopilot is to allow yourself to float downstream. Perhaps you are not swimming with the stream, but if you are not fighting against it, you are headed to the same place. “Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” I talk about this topic quite often, but in today’s post I wanted to briefly tie fear and wisdom together and emphasize their importance. “For those who find [wisdom] find life and receive favor from the Lord. But those who fail to find [wisdom] harm themselves; all who hate [wisdom] love death.” Proverbs 8:35-36 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10 “To fear the Lord is to hate evil; I [Wisdom] hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” Proverbs 8:13 There is a simple truth at work throughout these three verses (and the rest of the Bible, really): (1) You must find wisdom. What is wisdom? (2) The fear of the Lord is wisdom. What does it mean to fear the Lord? (3) To fear the Lord is to hate evil. I discussed in a previous post that fearing the Lord has to do with literally being afraid of the Lord, as Jesus says to fear God who has the power to send us to hell (Matthew 10:28). Perhaps this is still true. I myself am learning much as I study the Word of the Lord. “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:16-18 Perhaps the fear of the Lord as defined this way (being afraid of God) is more a conversation than a single act. Think back to those instances when shepherds and God-fearing people trembled in terror before the Lord or someone the Lord had sent. “Fear not,” they often said. Perhaps we fear the Lord so that He, in His great love for us, can completely comfort us by telling us not to be afraid. Yet look at what Moses says to the Israelites when they are afraid of the voice of God after receiving the 10 commandments: “Moses said to the people, 'Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.'” Exodus 20:20 Do not be afraid…so that the fear of God will be with you. I haven’t quite figured out an answer to this question yet (are we supposed to literally be afraid of God?). Maybe I never will. If I do, I’ll be sure to post about it in the future. For now, I’m content to turn to God in prayer and have Him reveal to me if my fear is sufficient enough, or too much. What I do know is this: how to fear God is not a topic we can shy away from. We are to seek wisdom, lest we harm ourselves and love death (Proverbs 8:36), and wisdom is found first in the fear of the Lord (Proverbs 9:10). At the very least, we know for certain that fearing God does mean hating evil (Proverbs 8:13). And to hate evil is to first know what is evil in ourselves and the world around us, through self-reflection and outward examination. If we are not testing ourselves and the world around us against the Scriptures, how will we ever know what is evil? Perhaps the same principle can be applied to God. To fear God, we must first know God, so that we know the awesomeness of the One we are worshipping in order to understand the extent to which we must fear Him. If to you God is just a guy in the sky who you chat with nonchalantly, how can you ever fear Him? But if He is to us the same God pictured in Isaiah 6 and Revelation 4, fearing Him should come quite naturally. “Day and night they never stop saying: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.’” Revelation 4:8 |
AuthorFighting complacency and advocating change in myself for the world around me. Posts by Date
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