I was baptized today. Here is a recollection of my baptism and the major events before and after it. Tuesday, November 13, 2018 I met with Pastor Dale to share my testimony. He explained the baptism purpose and process. He told me baptism is the most exciting thing he can do as a pastor. It puts a huge smile on God’s face, and there is rejoicing in heaven. Then he told me to come up with something short to say as to why I’d like to be baptized. Wednesday, November 14, 2018 Upon waking up at 5:30am, the following words came into my head. I recorded them in my phone at 5:34am: “Why do I want to get baptized? As a testimony to myself that I’m no longer living in sin. As a testimony to others that I have a new life in Christ. As a testimony to God that He gets to make the decisions now, That I’ll spend the rest of my life giving all the glory to Him.” I didn’t consider anything else to say instead. It was obvious those words came to me for a reason. I didn’t look at them very closely beforehand so they came out a bit different during the service, but the main points remained. Before December 2, 2018 Since giving my life to Christ on September 16, I had not experienced so much perceived distance and estrangement from God as I did in the weeks leading up to my baptism. I doubted that He had ever shown me His love, I had forgotten how He revealed to me His presence, and at one point I almost gave up on faith completely out of fear for repeating my past. But God is good, and He wasn’t about to let me go. He reminded me of His love for me and how He displayed it, and He helped me not to be so hard on myself. Sunday, December 2, 2018 Before I was nervous, but I had a good morning with the Lord. The service went well. When asked why we wanted to get baptized, I said the following: “I want it to be a testimony to myself that I’m no longer a slave to sin, a testimony to others that I have a new life in Christ, and in obedience to God who gets to make all the decisions now.” Pastor Dale asked if he could put me on the spot. I complied. He then asked me to shortly explain how I came to Jesus and what happened leading up to this decision. I responded: “I was in a lot of sin over summer and I hurt someone that I loved very much and that put me in a very dark place, but God found me in that darkness.” During I stepped in the pool. It was cold, and strange to get my clothes soaked, but I was no longer nervous. Pastor Dale had me state my full name, and he baptized me in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I was dunked backwards. When I came up, I felt different. I was shaking, though not visibly, but inside I was shaking immensely. I was overwhelmed with emotion that I could not and did not portray (I knew this because how I looked on video did not accurately represent how I felt). I was in shock, in awe. It felt like minutes that I trembled in the pool, but it was only seconds. My hand wouldn’t leave my heart. When I finally got out and was embraced by my mom with a towel, I cried. Not much, but I cried. Overwhelmed with emotion is the closest description I have for how I felt--overwhelmed to the point of being unable to display it outwardly. I am in awe that I am forgiven and saved. After what I had done, I was sure it was the end for me. I was sure I was done for. I had figured God was proud of me up until my most horrible sin, but I believe now God has never smiled bigger at my life than in that moment, and neither had I. I feel joy, pure joy. I am confident I have God’s Advocate with me now. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. After I got some congratulations from people in the congregation—some I knew, some I didn’t. My roommate made a surprised remark about Pastor Dale putting me on the spot, but a stranger told me that my testimony was powerful. When I was confirmed in the Lutheran Church as a middle-schooler we were asked to choose our favorite verse in the Bible. I hadn’t read much of the Bible at that point, but I knew without a doubt the second I read it that my favorite verse was Genesis 50:20. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:20 Except rather than telling this to my brothers who sold me into slavery like Joseph did, my version is said to Satan himself: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what has now been done, the saving of my life.” I never understood why I always loved that verse so much. Now I finally get it. I messed up when I fell so far into sin I thought I’d never get back up, but God used that to finally get it through my thick skull that He is all I need. “Anything that causes me to find God is a huge blessing, no matter how painful it was at the time.” - Francis Chan
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AuthorFighting complacency and advocating change in myself for the world around me. Posts by Date
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