“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7 I am not an emotional masterpiece, nor do I claim to be. In fact, I struggle with a lot of different emotions at times. I am often frustrated with myself for not seeking God enough. I am at times haunted by my past, and the devil would very much like me to wallow in self-loathing and regret. Today especially, I was in a trance it seemed. My eyes were weary, my flesh was weak. Though my spirit willed that I spend my morning with the Lord, my body was not strong enough. My mind wandered, I fell asleep (experiencing sleep paralysis twice in 40 minutes), and I went on a 30 minute walk to clear my head. Even now, as I am focusing on my work, my heart is heavy with old memories. But God is good. I do not often tell people about these types of days because I don’t find it necessary except to encourage them in their own rough days. I no longer need the immediate support of others to get past these difficult emotions. While a community is vital to emotional health and I do share these rough days with a select few, my main supporter is God and He has not let me down. In my past life I had high expectations for the people around me to know when I was down and to bring it up without me asking. Basically, I wanted them to read my mind. And when they wouldn’t notice, or their comfort wasn’t sufficient enough, I only felt worse. It is dangerous to depend on people first before depending on God. Other humans are necessary and we should never think they do not play significant roles in our lives, but God is our sole source of strength, peace, and comfort. I think of it like this: when you’re married, ideally, the main person you talk to about difficult situations is your spouse. They are with you the most (because you live together) and they are in your life to support you and you to support them. You will, of course, tell a select few of your other family members and friends as you see fit, but your spouse is your go-to. So should it be with God, even before a spouse. For while you can only live with a spouse, God lives in us. He is with us wherever we go, whatever time it may be, and listens with an eagerness to give us peace. He is our Great Comforter. We seek Him first, and then we can tell our spouse/friends/family. Otherwise, their support will never be enough. God provides a peace that transcends all understanding, and, Reader, let me tell you, this cannot be found anywhere else. While it is peaceful to be embraced by someone you love and their comfort is at times sufficient for the moment, God provides a comfort that transcends anything you can ever understand. Yes, even when the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you feel as if everything has gone wrong and stress has reached its max, God can provide you with the kind of peace that makes you say, “Why aren’t I worried about all this? I don’t understand.” Today was one of those days for me. Though my past haunts me as I am deeply wounded with regret and shame for my mistakes, and though my future looms over me as I anticipate extreme change and uncertainty approaching, I am in awe of the peace He has given me. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you…And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:7,10
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AuthorFighting complacency and advocating change in myself for the world around me. Posts by Date
February 2019
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